Confusing Mind

In the post Going on an Adventure there were talks of an upcoming adventure. Hopes of making new friends, learning new skills and techniques and finding out stuff about oneself.

There was an air of excitement for this little journey.

Well, the adventure has come and gone, leaving a rather confused Three Footed Yogi.

At the time, it is really hard to recognise what you are learning about yourself. It isn’t until you take a step back at the end and reflect back, that you start to consider your actions and the way you reacted to things. It is at that point that you learn the reasons behind your actions, it is at that point you may decide to work on yourself.

Good friends weren’t particularly made but acquaintances became friendly. People ticked, people ate, people drank, debates rose and opinions flared.

There was once a time when the Three Footed Yogi would rise to the debate, argue her own opinion. But now there is more of an understanding that everyone has their own views and opinions, regardless if you agree or not. You will not change someone else’s thought patterns and views.

Towards the end of the week, sharing an area with a group became exhausting and this yogi realised she welcomed peace and quiet. A time to think and be present, almost impossible in a house full of different characters and noise.

But it didn’t come.

Instead, quiet tears were shed. Silent prayers of home, of own space, of quiet.

She realised she hadn’t quite mastered the art of meditation. To quietly witness the noise but not interact with it.

But should she not be joining in?  Relaxing and contributing? Watching but not reacting?

At the time all she wanted to do was run and hide. Find solace in a quiet place.  But looking back, would it not have been better to try and integrate more. To not be intimidated, to join in, lighten the debates and have fun. To try and connect and find common ground.

But in light of this, connections were made. The Three Footed Yogi was just getting in a tizz. Learning that it’s ok to want space but also to be open and patient.

She has learned to not dwell, what is done is done, you can not go back and relive it.

It was actually a pretty good experience and as for the climbing, well that’s a story for another post.

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