It’s no secret and it’s no epiphany, that the only way to get good at something is to keep doing it. To practice.
To be completely honest, it has only been recently that I’ve actually started to believe this.
My mantras are:
I can’t do it’
‘This is rubbish, I’m not doing it’
‘No I don’t like it, I’m not doing it’
Just point blank refusal.
Like a petulant child.
Like a petulant child refusing to eat their greens. Face screwed up in disgust, mouth set in a straight line, arms crossed, little foot stamp (I actually do foot stamp quite often!)
I’ll try it. One try. Can’t do it. Give up. Not doing it again.
It has been my ritual for a while. In fact back in college I quit two courses without giving them much of a chance. To be fair I did fall asleep in the sociology lesson – bit of an indication I wasn’t that interested in it. No offence to those who love it.
Knock me down and I rarely get up again. I’m definitely not a weeble wobble.
I once started writing a story, to be fair it was rather smutty (and before 50 shades I may add). Somebody read it and laughed and I never got past writing chapter three.
I hold my hands up. I do give up easily.
Everyone in the climbing gym have got used to my negative ‘I can’t’ attitude which is where I use it the most.
I think that nothing has improved with my yoga, my flexibility is the same as it was, I can’t go any deeper in a pose.
Recently I even caught myself thinking ‘if I don’t get more views and followers on this blog I’m going to stop blogging’.
But I’m not.
Here I am, writing about it instead of giving up. Go Me! Pat on the head. Gold Star!
So, I’ve started to change the way I think.
How do I know I can’t, if I only have one shot at anything? I can’t expect to do everything perfect straight away. And why should I try to be perfect.
No one is perfect.
I don’t want to be perfect. But I also don’t want to be the ‘I can’t’ girl anymore.
Thinking about it, although it’s been two years since I started climbing, I have improved. I had a minor set back (as you know from The Art of Falling) but I did get back up and start again, eventually.
I most certainly can bend further than when I first started yoga. I just have to look at people who don’t do yoga to see how much I have improved. I was at the same level as them when I started.
Then there is this blog. I started with nothing. A name and one post. I may not have a huge amount of followers like some blogs, but I have more than I started with. That’s improvement. I post every day with the exception of a Sunday, that’s dedication right there.
I didn’t say ‘I can’t’ on my recent bouldering sessions and I ticked off climbs I thought I couldn’t do (including the marshmallow in the pic). Ok so I did start off with ‘I can’t’ but it’s kind of my reverse psychology on myself now. It’s a hard habit to get out of you know!
So I’m getting better at each thing I’m trying. The thing they all have in common is I’ve continued to try them, to practice.
Practice won’t make perfect, but it will make better.
Just as well really, perfection doesn’t = happiness and happiness is all I’m interested in.