Insomniatic Ramblings

Penned but not posted, in a blurry sleep deprived state.

Don’t you just hate distractions.

Especially distractions at night. When all you want to do is lay your head down on a nice fluffy pillow and sleep until the morning peeps.

But the distractions are there.

Protruding like a spring from a well worn mattress. Causing sore spots, keeping you awake (I really must replace the mattress…)

Your mind refuses to think of anything else despite the futile attempts to calm it.

It’s all well and good trying to put mindfulness into practice here,  but sometimes it really is hard work.

I’ve done the study, I know it’s my own mind causing the problem and I know it’s my own mind that can solve the problem. It certainly is it’s own worst enemy.

No matter how comfortable you try and get, how relaxed you try and get your breathing to be, another spring is there. Pushing and prodding in just the right sensitive spot, as if it know’s exactly where to hit.

Distractions at work are becoming easy to let pass by. It’s when the cold winds blow and the darkness settles. A battle begins on the lonely bed of nails. Once you satisfy one distraction, settling down and getting comfy, another one appears as if by magic.

I have to admit, it’s a fine art to have a calm and happy mind for most of the time and I take my hat off to those who master it.

One day I will.

I like to think that since yoga and mindfulness entered my life, I’ve been a calmer and happier person. But there are just days when no matter what position you lie in, those pesky springy distractions are there poking you, taunting you.

So I’ve given in.

Not to my pesky distractions as I originally thought I had, but to my pen and notepad, to my blog.

I’ve gone and done a more serious post (after saying in my last post that I want to make people laugh! How ironic)

So at the time of penning this, in a semi lit room so as not to wake anyone, it has gone 1.30am. Far past my sleep time.

As the words flow, my distractions flow away with them. My thoughts begin to clear and I start to think of things I am grateful for.

This wasn’t a conscious train of thought. My mind automatically wandered down the path of gratitude as it relaxed. So I think it must have rewired itself somewhere along the line. Progress!

At this precise moment in time I am grateful for warmth – because it’s bloody chilly.

I am grateful for a pen and notepad – for it has given me a much needed good distraction.

I am grateful for humour – if I can laugh at myself it makes things a whole lot better.

And I am grateful for this blog – I can see how blogging can be an outlet for people. A way for them to distract or even face their fears. A place to find help or even comfort in knowing they aren’t alone.

It’s the little things that help and it’s the little things that deserve the gratitude.

So that said, enough of this seriousness – to bed you three footed fiend!

Let those springs protrude and poke you in unwanted places and be glad you aren’t out in the cold wind, alone with something different poking at you……

 

(and yes I did make the word insomniatic up, at least that’s what spellcheck says)

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